Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Can I Be Called to do Something Different?

I wonder sometimes why God continues to call upon me to do the things I do.  I am a nurse and it just comes natural to me. When I am at work the day just keeps flowing along and no matter how sick my client is that day I always make it through without falling apart at the seams.  I am a mother and it just comes natural to me. When I am doing the things that a mother does it just keeps flowing along no matter how tough the situation can become I always make it through without falling apart at the seams.  God sure put me together with some tough thread!

I feel as if He keeps putting similar tasks in my path.  When my children were young I took on the cub/boy scout activities effortlessly as well as the girl scout activities. I had a philosophy then about the activities my children participated in.  Sometimes I would find it necessary to share that philosophy with others. I did not need to take part in everything to the fullest scale that my children did. I felt that we are all called to do something and as long as we served our community in some positive fashion then we are doing our part. If one parent did soccer while another did baseball then we all support each other as I was doing scouts.  Sometimes a coach or youth leader of a program would make mention that not enough parents are doing their part and I would share with them that we all tend to have our own little part in this play and collectively we are making a difference.  I never intended to become a teacher or creator of classes for our Master's Lyceum but the first semester we were active the opportunity was presented to me and I was asked if I could teach one of the classes that someone had all ready prepared. So I sat in on the first class and then recreated her class a couple of hours later for others. When the next semester came around I had found something I wanted to do with my grandchildren but felt it would be more fun with many so put it together as a class instead. That class filled so quickly that the following semester (last fall) I conducted it two more times.  But I felt called upon to also do a class for older students. One that did not specifically benefit my kiddos but would be for older students. So the poetry class was done.

I am now at the same point this semester. I have two classes that will delve into science from a conservationist point of view. One is for younger and one for older students. I am a strong willed person. Nothing about me is meek and mild.  I try to approach things with open arms, open ideas but still I feel that when I do something I do it intensely. I am afraid that the intensity of my calling is sometimes to strong for others and they form opinions that I cannot curtail.  Why should I care? Why try to mold their opinions?  I do not know the answer to either question.  I do not tend to communicate that these type of things tend to be my calling.  I know that inside I am presented with opportunities like these often in my life. Sometimes I respond and other times I feel that I should step back.  So it is not like a announce to anybody that I AM CALLED.  I just do it.

But why is it that the same type of activities I did back then I am doing again now.  I wonder what else I am capable of if He would just present them to me.  Why can't I be a great housekeeper, a terrific gardener, a political activists?  Why is is always about the children or the weak and helpless?

Well God, here I am!  Happy to do what I am doing!