So here I sit, in the local library, during the summer reading program. This morning I am at the library in the community the girls reside. Later, we will also attend the one in my community library. I think the girls will enjoy it better but for now we will be doing two different reading programs. Kelley and her family live outside of their community and it really is between hers and mine. So there are a few changes that are taking place.
Kelley is going to be a leader for a new brownie troop that Grace will participate in. Long and dramatic story but it will be what is best for Grace overall. Her current troop is doing NOTHING on a routine basis and a hit and miss program is pretty useless. With that said, I will be a leader for the Daisy Troop that Faith will be in. I thought I had paid my dues in this organization but will once again begin a ten year commitment. Let's pray I can stay alive that long!
We are still not done with our house remodeling project. I sure wish I was married to a handyman sometimes. Yesterday we saw something on TV about polygamy. I told him I need a handy-husband as my second husband. One that once all the work was done I could loan out elsewhere.
We continue to teach through the summer but find it hard as Kelley has taken on care of two children for the summer. I feel as if I am mean when I exclude the other girls but I cannot effectively teach when the other children do not live their lives in the same manner as we do. Kelley has discovered that the average town person has an effect on her children.
OK so I am listening as I type to the library program. The theme is "Reading is Delicious" but they are talking about the flag. AND WOW>>>>>it is boring!!!! Lets face it, these kids are 8-12 and have learned this. OH...I just heard Grace telling the speaker about the first flag and how it is different from today's flag. The speaker ask a question that she does not intend to have them answer as she keeps on speaking and telling them the response. Grace keeps raising her hands to answer but she just keeps talking in a monotone voice. OH OH OH now we are going to watch a video rather than read a book about flags.
Gonna go now, I am getting headache.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Monday, June 11, 2012
Mixing Summer with School
I think I am doing a pretty good job at this. I am finding most class time is on the deck, under the huge shade trees, using my new patio table. We seem to have completely forgotten about the desire to have a recess time between major topics but move right through it all so that they are playing for a long period of time.
The obstacles are the two additional children Kelley is babysitting. They are a distraction. I know that many would say....they need to be able to work in distractions too. But it is more than that. Grace seems to feel very inferior to her friend when it comes to her lessons. It really ticked me off when the friend said "duh that is 13." I found myself telling her that not everyone is the same and some area Grace has to think on more to answer. I found it a bit revealing however when she wanted to do some of the same math problems but missed more than half of them. Additionally, she had never been introduced to Roman Numerals yet. Unfortunately, I could not point this out to Grace as it would not have been the right thing to do.
So we move along. All subjects most days. Our butterflies have emerged and we will release them tomorrow. I am still remodeling a lot and so all is out of structure but we are making it through anyway.
That will be all for now. Faith began a girl scout day camp today and I am exhausted.
The obstacles are the two additional children Kelley is babysitting. They are a distraction. I know that many would say....they need to be able to work in distractions too. But it is more than that. Grace seems to feel very inferior to her friend when it comes to her lessons. It really ticked me off when the friend said "duh that is 13." I found myself telling her that not everyone is the same and some area Grace has to think on more to answer. I found it a bit revealing however when she wanted to do some of the same math problems but missed more than half of them. Additionally, she had never been introduced to Roman Numerals yet. Unfortunately, I could not point this out to Grace as it would not have been the right thing to do.
So we move along. All subjects most days. Our butterflies have emerged and we will release them tomorrow. I am still remodeling a lot and so all is out of structure but we are making it through anyway.
That will be all for now. Faith began a girl scout day camp today and I am exhausted.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Away Too Long
I cannot believe that my last post was almost two months ago. What a wild two months it has been!
No surprise if you look back to other post that we will indeed be "doing" school through out the summer. I anticipated several little breaks with Kelley's high risk pregnancy but I did not anticipate an infection, a baby that did not thrive, several weeks of flu, or this new complication. Kelley, as it turns out, has needed a very extensive surgical repair for an abdominal hernia that was caused by the infection destroying the abdominal wall fascia and "obliterating" the muscle. She is now almost one month post op but has strict limitations and will be wearing an abdominal binder for six months.
So the girls and I are back on a roll again and making great strides in education. It would be impossible to put it all here for the past two months but I can discuss the here and now.
We are back and forth from their home and mine. Doing most lessons at the table rather than our traditional environment. I have a huge remodel taking place and finally will have that one room school house done that I had been dreaming about. Kelley wants the girls classroom to go back to a room for toys that have small parts. That way Owen can be there as well. He is getting all around the place these days.Soon to be crawling.
In school we are observing our caterpillars and keeping our journal. Grace is progressing nicely in math and we still have some frustration moments but if we keep doing it on schedule she does fine. It is those times that we miss a couple of days due to doctor appointments and such. Her reading of course is great. I purchased her entire next years program this week. She is going to do every subject EXCEPT for math at the fourth grade level. Faith is making great advancement as well but I am letting her take it step by step. I do think that she will be moving into the second grade material by November.
Faith is excited that she is joined girl scouts. I am going to be the leader for her Daisy Troop. Not sure where to place her, Kelley decided that the first grade daisy level would be best. It is so hard at times to remember that she is only 5.5 yrs old because she performs at a higher level than that, but then in moments of play it is clear that she is indeed just a little girl.
I am going to stop here and try to get better again at keeping my blog updated. I know Jean is missing the postings. Now, I will go catch up on my other homeschool friends' blogs.
No surprise if you look back to other post that we will indeed be "doing" school through out the summer. I anticipated several little breaks with Kelley's high risk pregnancy but I did not anticipate an infection, a baby that did not thrive, several weeks of flu, or this new complication. Kelley, as it turns out, has needed a very extensive surgical repair for an abdominal hernia that was caused by the infection destroying the abdominal wall fascia and "obliterating" the muscle. She is now almost one month post op but has strict limitations and will be wearing an abdominal binder for six months.
So the girls and I are back on a roll again and making great strides in education. It would be impossible to put it all here for the past two months but I can discuss the here and now.
We are back and forth from their home and mine. Doing most lessons at the table rather than our traditional environment. I have a huge remodel taking place and finally will have that one room school house done that I had been dreaming about. Kelley wants the girls classroom to go back to a room for toys that have small parts. That way Owen can be there as well. He is getting all around the place these days.Soon to be crawling.
In school we are observing our caterpillars and keeping our journal. Grace is progressing nicely in math and we still have some frustration moments but if we keep doing it on schedule she does fine. It is those times that we miss a couple of days due to doctor appointments and such. Her reading of course is great. I purchased her entire next years program this week. She is going to do every subject EXCEPT for math at the fourth grade level. Faith is making great advancement as well but I am letting her take it step by step. I do think that she will be moving into the second grade material by November.
Faith is excited that she is joined girl scouts. I am going to be the leader for her Daisy Troop. Not sure where to place her, Kelley decided that the first grade daisy level would be best. It is so hard at times to remember that she is only 5.5 yrs old because she performs at a higher level than that, but then in moments of play it is clear that she is indeed just a little girl.
I am going to stop here and try to get better again at keeping my blog updated. I know Jean is missing the postings. Now, I will go catch up on my other homeschool friends' blogs.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
So Much A Happenin'
So here we are, one week into April and I know that we have months left of school. No worry on my end as I know that what the girls are getting is a top notch experience. So you wonder what we are up to this past week?
Yesterday we did an entire field trip day. I planned it to fill one entire day so that it would not take too much away from our book learning as well. It began the night before with a sleep over at my mother's house. The girls then get to spend time with great-grandmother. Then in the morning we went a few blocks down to a llama and alpaca farm. I was not sure what to expect but found it was by far one of the best experiences for them. The observed two teens (who are home schooled and come there to learn) shaving an angora rabbit. The girls then picked out the leaves and particles from some llama fleece. The learned how it was washed and died and then they saw a young girls with a foot pedal spinning wheel make it into usable yarns. They walked through the fields feeding carrots to each animal and spent time in the barn with chickens as well. The day ended with a craft, it was a walking stick and decorated with beads and llama and alpaca fibers. Faith was a sweetheart when she noticed the two toes she shared with me that it was an even-toed ungulate but then a dozen mothers asked her age and did not know what an ungulate was. I laughed and told them neither did I until I had to teach it but I worry sometimes as many of their children were 10 to 14 years old.
Secondly, we went to a friends farm to have hands on time with the new colts. We keep trying to catch the birth but we have been unsuccessful so far. There are still ten more colts to be born in the next month or so. The learned about impressing a human handprint to the new colt. At the end of the day a two day old colt came to Grace with little hesitation. We stood in the corral with seven horses--all trotters-- and four of them had new babies. One had just been born that morning. While there we also gathered several goose eggs.
It seems our duck eggs are about to hatch. The beaks are visible in the air sacs and there are small vibrations noted. When they hatch we will add the goose eggs next.
Grace's approach to math continues to be a huge success again. Today she shocked me with some of the independent work she accomplished. She is getting rather bored with he language but still loves to read. I know that the language is helping her as today her sentence structure was great and had some real substance in them. No telling what they will be like tomorrow but I expect consistency there soon.
Faith is doing well in all areas but she is upset that we are not further along in her books. I reminded her that I do not expect to see her go to the next grade level this year but maybe part way through next year. I then remind her that she cannot begin kindergarten until September in the public school.
Next week will be back to the routine again. Lyceum will resume after a few breaks. There are only four more sessions of Master's Lyceum this semester.
On a final note, great-grandma got Grace a hamster for her upcoming birthday. She is excited!
Yesterday we did an entire field trip day. I planned it to fill one entire day so that it would not take too much away from our book learning as well. It began the night before with a sleep over at my mother's house. The girls then get to spend time with great-grandmother. Then in the morning we went a few blocks down to a llama and alpaca farm. I was not sure what to expect but found it was by far one of the best experiences for them. The observed two teens (who are home schooled and come there to learn) shaving an angora rabbit. The girls then picked out the leaves and particles from some llama fleece. The learned how it was washed and died and then they saw a young girls with a foot pedal spinning wheel make it into usable yarns. They walked through the fields feeding carrots to each animal and spent time in the barn with chickens as well. The day ended with a craft, it was a walking stick and decorated with beads and llama and alpaca fibers. Faith was a sweetheart when she noticed the two toes she shared with me that it was an even-toed ungulate but then a dozen mothers asked her age and did not know what an ungulate was. I laughed and told them neither did I until I had to teach it but I worry sometimes as many of their children were 10 to 14 years old.
Secondly, we went to a friends farm to have hands on time with the new colts. We keep trying to catch the birth but we have been unsuccessful so far. There are still ten more colts to be born in the next month or so. The learned about impressing a human handprint to the new colt. At the end of the day a two day old colt came to Grace with little hesitation. We stood in the corral with seven horses--all trotters-- and four of them had new babies. One had just been born that morning. While there we also gathered several goose eggs.
It seems our duck eggs are about to hatch. The beaks are visible in the air sacs and there are small vibrations noted. When they hatch we will add the goose eggs next.
Grace's approach to math continues to be a huge success again. Today she shocked me with some of the independent work she accomplished. She is getting rather bored with he language but still loves to read. I know that the language is helping her as today her sentence structure was great and had some real substance in them. No telling what they will be like tomorrow but I expect consistency there soon.
Faith is doing well in all areas but she is upset that we are not further along in her books. I reminded her that I do not expect to see her go to the next grade level this year but maybe part way through next year. I then remind her that she cannot begin kindergarten until September in the public school.
Next week will be back to the routine again. Lyceum will resume after a few breaks. There are only four more sessions of Master's Lyceum this semester.
On a final note, great-grandma got Grace a hamster for her upcoming birthday. She is excited!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
New Math Approach
I will try to put into words what is inside of my head. I have gathered lots of ideas from mothers and regular education teachers about Grace's particular block in math. So I have devised a plan:
Step on is to use a calculator that will permit her to immediately check her work/guess. The one I am using is not a cheapo as it will retain the equation in the upper left while showing the answer in the lower right. The rationale to this is simple. At the age of almost eight Grace is able to recall only a small portion of addition facts without using number lines, dots, or adding on. I think adding on is fine as long as you can do it fast but she is not always fast as she stares at the problem trying to decide where to begin 3+9.
So today she faced a small number of equations at one time and was encouraged to think only for a moment try to tell me what it is then enter it into the calculator and guess what.........she was correct each time and all were sums of 11-15. No fingers, no abacus, no number lines or adding on..(well she may have added on but if so she did it with lightening fast speed). The calculator gave her immediate reinforcement and lets face it, the current young adult generation X is all about the NOW movement so should I expect it to be different from a modern tech student.
Honestly it was great to see her accomplish it and check her answer. Not a single one incorrect which means she is recalling more than she or I ever imagined.
Step two: sandwich several problems between other stuff like constant reinforcement of time or measure. So after two times and two measurement toss in two more simple addition facts followed by complementing subtraction facts so that she can keep moving toward the more complicated issue of borrowing. For instance 11-7 followed by 21-7. She will have just experienced the first equation then not be so stress about borrowing and the ability to recall the subtraction fact. It lets the focus be on the operation more than the fact.
It is my belief that this will enable to to reinforce the facts she knows and learn the ones she does not know. It will promote success in the operation by easing the ability to find the solution.
I do not know if this is making any sense to anybody but in my mind it is perfectly clear. Sadly, I will now have to work harder to make math a coordinated subject while still using the curriculum that we have.
She is also going to spend five minutes each day with her flash cards again. Not to tell me the right answer or her mother but to know for herself. It will require her saying it out loud and turning the card or if she wants check it on the calculator.
It also means a bit of page hopping back and forth so no telling when we will actually finish the book.
OTHER big plans include a creation of a new one room school house for them. The house is there and measures about 30x20 so now we get to make it all we want. The computer will move out there and we will get in some new floors, furniture and revitalize some old furniture. New doors and air conditioner to be installed. Not so worry about the heat as our Eden Pure does a great job and it will be all I need out there. Will have to maintain climate as there will be so much stored school things as well. I do not intend to put this all together again. I pray that Owen will do well with what the girls have used so far. No new lessons plans as I am essentially a lazy school teacher.
Step on is to use a calculator that will permit her to immediately check her work/guess. The one I am using is not a cheapo as it will retain the equation in the upper left while showing the answer in the lower right. The rationale to this is simple. At the age of almost eight Grace is able to recall only a small portion of addition facts without using number lines, dots, or adding on. I think adding on is fine as long as you can do it fast but she is not always fast as she stares at the problem trying to decide where to begin 3+9.
So today she faced a small number of equations at one time and was encouraged to think only for a moment try to tell me what it is then enter it into the calculator and guess what.........she was correct each time and all were sums of 11-15. No fingers, no abacus, no number lines or adding on..(well she may have added on but if so she did it with lightening fast speed). The calculator gave her immediate reinforcement and lets face it, the current young adult generation X is all about the NOW movement so should I expect it to be different from a modern tech student.
Honestly it was great to see her accomplish it and check her answer. Not a single one incorrect which means she is recalling more than she or I ever imagined.
Step two: sandwich several problems between other stuff like constant reinforcement of time or measure. So after two times and two measurement toss in two more simple addition facts followed by complementing subtraction facts so that she can keep moving toward the more complicated issue of borrowing. For instance 11-7 followed by 21-7. She will have just experienced the first equation then not be so stress about borrowing and the ability to recall the subtraction fact. It lets the focus be on the operation more than the fact.
It is my belief that this will enable to to reinforce the facts she knows and learn the ones she does not know. It will promote success in the operation by easing the ability to find the solution.
I do not know if this is making any sense to anybody but in my mind it is perfectly clear. Sadly, I will now have to work harder to make math a coordinated subject while still using the curriculum that we have.
She is also going to spend five minutes each day with her flash cards again. Not to tell me the right answer or her mother but to know for herself. It will require her saying it out loud and turning the card or if she wants check it on the calculator.
It also means a bit of page hopping back and forth so no telling when we will actually finish the book.
OTHER big plans include a creation of a new one room school house for them. The house is there and measures about 30x20 so now we get to make it all we want. The computer will move out there and we will get in some new floors, furniture and revitalize some old furniture. New doors and air conditioner to be installed. Not so worry about the heat as our Eden Pure does a great job and it will be all I need out there. Will have to maintain climate as there will be so much stored school things as well. I do not intend to put this all together again. I pray that Owen will do well with what the girls have used so far. No new lessons plans as I am essentially a lazy school teacher.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Visualizing the Early Stages of Life
Our duck eggs have life. We candled them and we have eleven with signs of life. Eight of them were not fertile and two of them did not proceed maintain life. We candled them all and were amazed that several of them were clearly more advanced that some others.
Both girls were amazed. You can actually see the blood vessels and in most of the eggs there is clearly movement as well. I did not intend for it to become a lesson about when life is life but God seems to have made it one. Both girls, especially Grace, see a living creature. Grace actually referring to it as a precious life.
No band wagons about right to life issues here as that is not my soap box. Just an honest conclusion to what the girls see and how it makes them feel.
Both girls were amazed. You can actually see the blood vessels and in most of the eggs there is clearly movement as well. I did not intend for it to become a lesson about when life is life but God seems to have made it one. Both girls, especially Grace, see a living creature. Grace actually referring to it as a precious life.
No band wagons about right to life issues here as that is not my soap box. Just an honest conclusion to what the girls see and how it makes them feel.
Friday, March 23, 2012
I Just Cannot Understand People Sometimes
I know that there are many different ideas about life, love and religion so I expect to find that diversity is the spice in living. Yet I am so often baffled at the actions of others who do things that causes a negative impact on others. Once again I have to announce that I am a follower of Jesus Christ and His Father believing in the Holy Trinity. Not because it is something I must have heard but because as I begin to type my views of the day and the emotions that it has left behind I may need that affirmation to control my tongue and try to imagine WWJD (haven't used that one in a long time).
As I begin one will imagine that I have embellishing on words to hide the true nature of Grace. I will tell you that I am not going to do that. I am going to be 100% about her conduct. It has been stated before that Grace does not respect individual space well. That remains true but she has made remarkable progress in that area. Still, Grace is energetic, joyful and busts at the seams to show it. Grace is shy and introverted all at the same time. How can that be?
In general daily life when she is not expecting anyone to be watching her she will break out in a song with me and even dance. If she feels that she may be seen she will not do so and if she realizes that someone is watching us she stops faster than fast. If she was to stand up to tell her name you could not hear it clearly with a microphone but her daily speech is so loudly presented that we had wondered if she had a hearing deficit. She giggles like all little girls her age. When she is overwhelmed with joy she actually will stiffen her arms to her side and tense up with so much excitement. (I had a son who use to hold his sides really tight and do the same thing). Although she can be rude to a person it would always be by accident through lack of understanding unless it was her little sister or occasionally her mother. She has a tender, gentle, loving heart that is deep in her soul. She is vocal. She is vocal. She is vocal. She wants her view to be heard when she is trying to offer it. NO exceptions! If she has something that is important she will not rest until she has had her say. Not a nasty manner but to be sure she is heard when it is important. I read this as I type this and it sounds like she is a brat. She is far from that! We have always encouraged her to be heard and speak up for herself. Well, she doesn't do it yet. She wants to be sure that Kelley, Matt, or myself understand her view she does not ever conduct herself with such confidence in other situations.
The danger of that final sentence is that sometimes she submits too easily to an person of authority and feels like she is a horrible person when they correct her.
Today it became clear to me in the early morning that there is a person who does not appreciate her for her unique energy. Several back to back comments directed her way out in the parking lot with an unpleasant tone but a smile on their face. All I could do was to openly reply that Grace is full of energy and excitement for what the day holds. The girls and I continued to unpack the trunk of the car and carry our items into the church for another day at enrichment program. They waited outside of the doors as directed as we dodge the raindrops so we did not melt on our way in. Deep breath at the door and all reminded it was now time to settle down and go inside. They both immediately complied with my request.
Later that morning I mentioned to a friend that this adult sure seems to dislike Grace. It is not the first time I felt that way but after the "entitled" verbalization outside I was not certain. Bite my tongue. Bite my tongue. Why do I permit the passive aggressiveness I come across so often in this environment? I know that answer. It is because I am not there to get into the petty female games that such conduct presents. I am there for my kiddos to have an enriched experience that is blessed by God. So when I come across the very specific stereotyped Christina female who uses her words and smiles to manipulate the conversation I tell Satan to step behind me and I rise better to the occasion. God is always working on me.
So back to the impact on others. Today I discovered that Grace was prayed with to encourage a corrective action. I am thrilled that someone would take the time to pray with her. She discussed with me the event however and I was baffled. She left not feeling uplifted but feeling singled out and humiliated yet once again in the class. --OH LORD help me choose my words here. It seems that it was not this one single event but a habit she has displayed about complaining in the class. WHAT? I can't imagine that coming from Grace.
You may ask what she was complaining about? Well, it seems that in her tumbling class she is often physically pushed to stretch those muscles. Her joints are limber but her muscles are indeed tight but also rather short.
She complained about the discomfort of the muscles in her belly. She complained about a muscle hurting when she jumped on one of her feet today as well.
SO now I have to tell you my view. Pain is given to us by God to tell us to stop before we cause some serious harm to our bodies. I have heard this type of "complaint" from her in this class before. It is not a complaint about an action from a teacher or student. It is not a complaint about the enrichment program. It is not a complaint that should effect anyone at all. IF anything it should make the teacher or proctor who is working with her to encourage safety while encouraging duration and trying the skill.
Humiliated again? I said the word again up there. Yes indeed. A couple of weeks ago as Grace prepared for the class I realized she did not wear the correct underpants so they were showing from the bottom of the leotard. I told her when we began the class to pull them high up and try to keep the tard positioned to cover. So it seems that her panties became a laughing issue. I was talked to about the issue as well and honestly cannot disagree that she needed some shorts but we did not have them when this issue presented itself. I reassured all that we would have shorts in the future BUT the real issue here is not a seven year old girl displaying a corner of her panties. The real issue should have been a cluster of children who felt power in their numbers and a display of nothing short of "mob mentality" . The actions of those children should have been corrected.
So on now one may ask, "what is your overall point," and I can answer it simple. Today Grace felt as if she was singled out as other kids say the same thing from time to time when they are trying a skill or stretch. Grace was pulled out of class and prayed with by a person that all children feel is an authority figure. Faith enquired from Grace what she had done wrong to get in trouble. So statistically, ten others children will wonder the same. Grace was made to feel singled out once again as a "bad girl" (in her words).
We have a family goal to improve Grace's feeling of self worth. If you ever read my first blogs you would know that is the SINGLE reason that her parents took her from the public system. One teacher and the people of entitlement did a big number on her little tender heart. We are seeing the old Grace but some of it was destroyed and cannot be found. So you bet your britches that I am concerned about others who have contact with her and from there kind heart feel that they are doing her some good but the reality is this. IF,, IF,,,IF,,,this has been an ongoing habit that needed to be addressed then it SHOULD have been addressed to me or Kelley. It was not an infringement that altered the flow of the class. The teacher of this group has always felt comfortable to discuss any issue with us before.
So what is different? The difference is one person. The same person that I had said before verbalized across the parking lot to us. So after the day ended Grace wanted to discuss it. At first she felt as if she was bad and required corrective action. I had to encourage her to stop when pain says stop. She asked me why God made pain. So I gave her an analogy of placing your hand in a flame. It hurts and you pull back really fast. If that did not happen you could be severely injured. The same goes for her developing muscles. When the stretch is painful you are too far. Come back just a bit until you feel a stretch but not the pain.
Can you imagine if this was not correctly identified by me. She would stop "complaining:" about the pain and could potentially hurt herself.
Now my next voice to be heard. I run in a circle of Christians so I know we all pray to the same God and in the name of Jesus Christ. Pray with me. Pray with my grandchildren. But do not force your idea of what a prayer is upon us. As I discussed the situation with the adult it was explained to me what her intervention was about but it was also clear that she insisted Grace say the words out loud. Grace rarely prays out loud. She will tell me what she prayed about but not necessarily the prayer. She will tell me when I pray that she will follow along in her head. That is fine by me as most of my most earnest prayers are silent ones. But she had to pray with this adult out loud. As it was explained to me I could feel the emotions inside me knowing how hard this had to be for her. But I was reassured that Grace asked her to help her pray out loud. I believe that if you are going to require a spoken prayer she is going to ask for help. I also know this person honestly felt compelled by God to pray with Grace. I am thankful that someone cares enough to pray with her. I do wish it would have been a more positive experience for Grace.
Then comes the car ride. The one with tears in her eyes when she can relax. With very little encouragement it is shared with me that it "just did not feel like my prayer" and I shared how special it is to have someone stop and pray with you. I really tried to have her see how wonderfully special she was to have a person to pray with her and to pray out loud with her. Then she lost it. She cried. She tells me that God hears her best when her prayers come from inside. WOW! WOW!
So do you see how she thinks? She seeks approval but everywhere she turns she finds disapproval.
Solution: She wants me to be in that class with her from beginning to end for the remainder of the semester. She wants me to be her voice for when something is too painful to continue. Really Grace? Yes, no one will listen to her as she is just a little kid. So what she is telling me is that she does not feel secure and safe. She is telling me that she has lost some trust. I am so glad she can communicate with me so well. I will be there. I will stay the entire class. I will also stop accepting the passive aggressive communication that is being offered to me and begin telling other my view if it becomes necessary.
Yes, I am a protective grandmother. I cannot trust others to love them and foster them in the same manner as I can. Maybe I have somehow completely misunderstood this but I honestly do not think so.
So Lord, lift me up to be a better person and reveal to me what you want me to do. AMEN.
As I begin one will imagine that I have embellishing on words to hide the true nature of Grace. I will tell you that I am not going to do that. I am going to be 100% about her conduct. It has been stated before that Grace does not respect individual space well. That remains true but she has made remarkable progress in that area. Still, Grace is energetic, joyful and busts at the seams to show it. Grace is shy and introverted all at the same time. How can that be?
In general daily life when she is not expecting anyone to be watching her she will break out in a song with me and even dance. If she feels that she may be seen she will not do so and if she realizes that someone is watching us she stops faster than fast. If she was to stand up to tell her name you could not hear it clearly with a microphone but her daily speech is so loudly presented that we had wondered if she had a hearing deficit. She giggles like all little girls her age. When she is overwhelmed with joy she actually will stiffen her arms to her side and tense up with so much excitement. (I had a son who use to hold his sides really tight and do the same thing). Although she can be rude to a person it would always be by accident through lack of understanding unless it was her little sister or occasionally her mother. She has a tender, gentle, loving heart that is deep in her soul. She is vocal. She is vocal. She is vocal. She wants her view to be heard when she is trying to offer it. NO exceptions! If she has something that is important she will not rest until she has had her say. Not a nasty manner but to be sure she is heard when it is important. I read this as I type this and it sounds like she is a brat. She is far from that! We have always encouraged her to be heard and speak up for herself. Well, she doesn't do it yet. She wants to be sure that Kelley, Matt, or myself understand her view she does not ever conduct herself with such confidence in other situations.
The danger of that final sentence is that sometimes she submits too easily to an person of authority and feels like she is a horrible person when they correct her.
Today it became clear to me in the early morning that there is a person who does not appreciate her for her unique energy. Several back to back comments directed her way out in the parking lot with an unpleasant tone but a smile on their face. All I could do was to openly reply that Grace is full of energy and excitement for what the day holds. The girls and I continued to unpack the trunk of the car and carry our items into the church for another day at enrichment program. They waited outside of the doors as directed as we dodge the raindrops so we did not melt on our way in. Deep breath at the door and all reminded it was now time to settle down and go inside. They both immediately complied with my request.
Later that morning I mentioned to a friend that this adult sure seems to dislike Grace. It is not the first time I felt that way but after the "entitled" verbalization outside I was not certain. Bite my tongue. Bite my tongue. Why do I permit the passive aggressiveness I come across so often in this environment? I know that answer. It is because I am not there to get into the petty female games that such conduct presents. I am there for my kiddos to have an enriched experience that is blessed by God. So when I come across the very specific stereotyped Christina female who uses her words and smiles to manipulate the conversation I tell Satan to step behind me and I rise better to the occasion. God is always working on me.
So back to the impact on others. Today I discovered that Grace was prayed with to encourage a corrective action. I am thrilled that someone would take the time to pray with her. She discussed with me the event however and I was baffled. She left not feeling uplifted but feeling singled out and humiliated yet once again in the class. --OH LORD help me choose my words here. It seems that it was not this one single event but a habit she has displayed about complaining in the class. WHAT? I can't imagine that coming from Grace.
You may ask what she was complaining about? Well, it seems that in her tumbling class she is often physically pushed to stretch those muscles. Her joints are limber but her muscles are indeed tight but also rather short.
She complained about the discomfort of the muscles in her belly. She complained about a muscle hurting when she jumped on one of her feet today as well.
SO now I have to tell you my view. Pain is given to us by God to tell us to stop before we cause some serious harm to our bodies. I have heard this type of "complaint" from her in this class before. It is not a complaint about an action from a teacher or student. It is not a complaint about the enrichment program. It is not a complaint that should effect anyone at all. IF anything it should make the teacher or proctor who is working with her to encourage safety while encouraging duration and trying the skill.
Humiliated again? I said the word again up there. Yes indeed. A couple of weeks ago as Grace prepared for the class I realized she did not wear the correct underpants so they were showing from the bottom of the leotard. I told her when we began the class to pull them high up and try to keep the tard positioned to cover. So it seems that her panties became a laughing issue. I was talked to about the issue as well and honestly cannot disagree that she needed some shorts but we did not have them when this issue presented itself. I reassured all that we would have shorts in the future BUT the real issue here is not a seven year old girl displaying a corner of her panties. The real issue should have been a cluster of children who felt power in their numbers and a display of nothing short of "mob mentality" . The actions of those children should have been corrected.
So on now one may ask, "what is your overall point," and I can answer it simple. Today Grace felt as if she was singled out as other kids say the same thing from time to time when they are trying a skill or stretch. Grace was pulled out of class and prayed with by a person that all children feel is an authority figure. Faith enquired from Grace what she had done wrong to get in trouble. So statistically, ten others children will wonder the same. Grace was made to feel singled out once again as a "bad girl" (in her words).
We have a family goal to improve Grace's feeling of self worth. If you ever read my first blogs you would know that is the SINGLE reason that her parents took her from the public system. One teacher and the people of entitlement did a big number on her little tender heart. We are seeing the old Grace but some of it was destroyed and cannot be found. So you bet your britches that I am concerned about others who have contact with her and from there kind heart feel that they are doing her some good but the reality is this. IF,, IF,,,IF,,,this has been an ongoing habit that needed to be addressed then it SHOULD have been addressed to me or Kelley. It was not an infringement that altered the flow of the class. The teacher of this group has always felt comfortable to discuss any issue with us before.
So what is different? The difference is one person. The same person that I had said before verbalized across the parking lot to us. So after the day ended Grace wanted to discuss it. At first she felt as if she was bad and required corrective action. I had to encourage her to stop when pain says stop. She asked me why God made pain. So I gave her an analogy of placing your hand in a flame. It hurts and you pull back really fast. If that did not happen you could be severely injured. The same goes for her developing muscles. When the stretch is painful you are too far. Come back just a bit until you feel a stretch but not the pain.
Can you imagine if this was not correctly identified by me. She would stop "complaining:" about the pain and could potentially hurt herself.
Now my next voice to be heard. I run in a circle of Christians so I know we all pray to the same God and in the name of Jesus Christ. Pray with me. Pray with my grandchildren. But do not force your idea of what a prayer is upon us. As I discussed the situation with the adult it was explained to me what her intervention was about but it was also clear that she insisted Grace say the words out loud. Grace rarely prays out loud. She will tell me what she prayed about but not necessarily the prayer. She will tell me when I pray that she will follow along in her head. That is fine by me as most of my most earnest prayers are silent ones. But she had to pray with this adult out loud. As it was explained to me I could feel the emotions inside me knowing how hard this had to be for her. But I was reassured that Grace asked her to help her pray out loud. I believe that if you are going to require a spoken prayer she is going to ask for help. I also know this person honestly felt compelled by God to pray with Grace. I am thankful that someone cares enough to pray with her. I do wish it would have been a more positive experience for Grace.
Then comes the car ride. The one with tears in her eyes when she can relax. With very little encouragement it is shared with me that it "just did not feel like my prayer" and I shared how special it is to have someone stop and pray with you. I really tried to have her see how wonderfully special she was to have a person to pray with her and to pray out loud with her. Then she lost it. She cried. She tells me that God hears her best when her prayers come from inside. WOW! WOW!
So do you see how she thinks? She seeks approval but everywhere she turns she finds disapproval.
Solution: She wants me to be in that class with her from beginning to end for the remainder of the semester. She wants me to be her voice for when something is too painful to continue. Really Grace? Yes, no one will listen to her as she is just a little kid. So what she is telling me is that she does not feel secure and safe. She is telling me that she has lost some trust. I am so glad she can communicate with me so well. I will be there. I will stay the entire class. I will also stop accepting the passive aggressive communication that is being offered to me and begin telling other my view if it becomes necessary.
Yes, I am a protective grandmother. I cannot trust others to love them and foster them in the same manner as I can. Maybe I have somehow completely misunderstood this but I honestly do not think so.
So Lord, lift me up to be a better person and reveal to me what you want me to do. AMEN.
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